WRITTEN ON October 20th, 2010 BY Meredith AND STORED IN Baking, Breakfast, Nuts, Vegetarian

Yesterday I had a procedure at the hospital that was perhaps the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced. But don’t worry, I lived to tell the tale. I know you can’t wait to hear it.

I went in for something called a hysterogram, more commonly known as an HSG.  The doctor uses a catheter, contrast, and an x-ray machine to see if there are any blockages or a build up of scar tissue in a gal’s, ah, tubes. I have several friends who’ve had the same procedure, and I made the mistake of talking to them about it beforehand, so I was already super nervous going in.  Not a whole lot of sleep on Monday night, that’s for sure (one friend of mine told me it was quite possibly more painful than giving birth to her twins.  Sweet).

I showed up at the hospital, hopped up on Advil, for a five minute procedure that my male doctor told me wouldn’t hurt a bit.  Oh, really?  Have you had this done before?  Huh.  Didn’t think so.  Why is it that male doctors always seem to know just what it feels like to have a pap smear, or contrast shot into your reproductive system? Since it was supposed to be so easy peasy, they didn’t give me a thing to numb the pain. Not even a measly muscle relaxer. Luckily, another friend who had experienced the same test told me to start popping Advil like it was candy the moment I got out of bed.  So I did. I can’t imagine how bad it would have been otherwise…

The problem with this test is that, though some women who’ve experienced both compare the pain to labor, it’s not, actually, labor.  Meaning that while I was writhing in pain on the table, there was no epidural and no husband to yell at.  Oh well.  It’s a lot shorter than labor.

Five minutes later I was left feeling battered and bruised and in need of some serious retail therapy. Next stop, Country Curtains.

In brighter news, this past weekend I was in my hometown of Baltimore for my God-daughter Jane’s christening. Sunday dawned a perfect fall day: crisp air, blue skies, golden sun and crunchy leaves.  My little muffin was a perfect angel throughout the whole service.  When the priest drizzled the water over her head, she merely woke up from her nap looking a bit curious, then gave a sweet, sweet smile.

Post-christening, we trooped back to my friend’s house and spent the afternoon cooing over cute kids, eating well and watching the Ravens piss away a perfectly good lead over the Pats.  I gave Jane two Pink Lady apple trees as a christening gift, to be planted in her new backyard. I’ll think of her every time I eat a Pink Lady apple (incidentally one of my favorites, great for eating and baking alike. Not too sweet, not too tart, just right. Goldilocks would have approved).

I used Pink Lady apples to make these “health” muffins, though you could use any kind you like. The hubster took one to work and sent me a one line email around ten a.m. that read: holy incredible muffin.  Now that’s what I call a compliment of the highest order. Try them at home.  They’re so dense and tasty, you won’t even notice they’re health food.

Sunday afternoon in Baltimore reminded me of why I’m putting myself through the torture of tests like an HSG. Watching my friends enjoy a quiet Sunday playing with their kids in the backyard made me excited for the day that I get to do the same. Even the little boys who wrestled all afternoon, alternately taking each other down on a hard wood floor and smacking each other (and everyone else) with toy golf clubs seemed adorable.  And when my dear sweet God-daughter’s diaper overflowed onto my new dress, leaving a big wet mark (I knew something felt a little soggy), I didn’t mind one bit.  Neither did she, apparently, because she went right on smiling and looking proud of herself.  I handed her off to her mother to change the diaper.

Health nut

Health Muffins (makes about 20 muffins)
Adapted from Bob’s Red Mill recipe
Have all ingredients at room temperature
3/4 cup all purpose white flour
3/4 cup whole wheat pastry flour
3/4 cup flax seed meal
3/4 cup oat bran
1 cup brown sugar
2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp nutmeg
1 1/2 cups shredded carrots
2 peeled apples, shredded
1/2 cup yellow raisins
3/4 cup chopped toasted pecans
3/4 cup milk
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
Preheat oven to 350. Mix together first ten dry ingredients in a large bowl.  Add in carrots, apples, raisins and nuts. In a small bowl, combine milk, eggs, vanilla. Fold into other ingredients, being careful not to over mix.  Fill greased or papered muffin tins about 3/4 full, bake for 15-20 minutes

Bookmark and Share

Leave a Reply